


Eye of the Tiger

by syrenpan



Series: Tales of the Tiger [2]
Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, Elder Garth (OC), Fenders, Jacinta (OC), M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-24
Updated: 2012-06-07
Packaged: 2017-11-04 06:05:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/390611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/syrenpan/pseuds/syrenpan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the Sequel to 'Face the Tiger'. Three years after they have left Kirkwall, Anders' and Fenris' relationship is put to the test in a battle that might not just end their love but change the fate of Thedas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Dragon Age (c) Bioware. No copyright infringement intended.

Anders woke early on the morning of their anniversary. It was at least an hour before dawn, even the birds were still asleep, huddled together in their nests.

He sat up slowly in an effort to let Fenris lie in a little bit longer besides he had preparations to make and it would be a long, long day for them both. Anders swallowed dry. He had told Fenris that he had a present for him, something Anders knew his lover wanted more than anything else.

_‘I’ve all I desire right here,’ Fenris had quipped while lying on top of the mage’s body before he had kissed him ardently._

They had come such a long way from the early days when they couldn’t even stand the sight of each other and now, now Anders couldn’t even imagine a life without him. With a last glance at his sleeping lover, Anders slipped out of their bedroom, a silent promise on his lips.

It’d been three years since they had escaped from Kirkwall. Looking back now, he was certain that had they remained in the Free Marches, the city would have destroyed them both. There was something corrosive about that place. It took bits of your soul twisted and turned them until you became something else that only resembled you in the same way a husk resembled the insect that had left it behind. Not suddenly but whittling away a little piece every day.

Still, it had been the best decision of his life. They had travelled Thedas and helped wherever someone needed helping, be it to fight bandits, slavers, Darkspawn, or treating injuries and illness . Sometimes they had allowed themselves to settle for a few months before they’d gotten restless again. Or more to the point until Justice had stirred and reminded Anders that there was something he was supposed to be doing instead of indulging in a life full of adventures and love-making to a gorgeous elf who was currently still sleeping soundly after a night of passion.

Dressed and ready, Anders closed the door to their house behind him as he walked toward the battle that would give them a new future and true freedom.

*~*

Fenris woke up in a bed that was too big and cold for his liking. Anders was a restless sleeper at the best of times and it was therefore not unusual for him to get up early but today was special and Fenris had hoped to be woken by a pair of warm amber eyes sparkling with mischief and wicked, clever hands and lips all over his body.

Grumbling under his breath, he got up to pour water into a small bowl which sat on a stool in the corner to wash the sleep off before he donned his clothes. He had replaced his Tevinter armour with reinforced black leather that left him more flexibility and was also quite frankly more comfortable than his old gear. He had kept the gauntlets but left them on the dresser this morning. Today was not a day for adventuring. Anders had promised him a gift for their anniversary and no matter what, Fenris had been unable to get it out of him despite his best efforts all night and into the wee hours of the morning.

He remembered having vivid dreams of Anders presenting him with a velvet collar and bell like one that the mage might have wanted to put on his cat, only this one was a size for a man grown, or should he say mage grown.

The thought of Anders wearing nothing but a smile and that collar sent a flush of heat toward his groin. If he hadn’t been hungry, he would have tracked down his lover this minute to drag him back into their bed for a morning shag. Alas, now that he was up, nature called and they still had some leftover bread and humus that Fenris liked very much. He was sure he would find Anders around the house somewhere and the gift he was looking forward to.

*~*

Anders loved Rivain. It had been the first country they had visited and that first taste of freedom had somehow stuck with him. The people here were more relaxed about religion and magic than any other region of Thedas Anders had ever even heard of. True, they  had a Circle here as well but if you steered clear of the capital, and you weren’t too flamboyant about the fact that you were a mage most people let you be. The Qunari and Andrastians co-existed peacefully alongside some older, local customs and hardly anyone quibbled who was more right or wrong.   

They had yet to see a Templar patrol dragging a child off to the tower and life-long imprisonment. It happened obviously but it was a rare event and most people were actually quite grateful to have a magical healer about to help with the kind of ailments that conventional physicians only treated with leeches and a friendly, ‘It’s in the Maker’s hands now.’

Anders wanted to live here. He knew Fenris liked it as well. The local food and wine were famous throughout Thedas, the people in this region had learned to appreciate Fenris ‘ and Anders’ skills and they only knew of Darkspawn from books and old stories.  Anders could see himself settling down and growing old in this place with the elf he loved. Like he had always dreamed he would. There were enough idiots, bandits and slavers to keep them sharp and shoot lightning bolts at, and they could live happily ever after until Anders’ calling would catch up with him. He knew he couldn’t outrun the taint but he could bloody well try.

Except there was a third party in their story that just wouldn’t let them be. Like a guest who had overstayed his welcome and turned into a squatter. Looking back now Anders could not fathom why he had offered Justice to possess him. There would have been so many other options in order to help the spirit and solve his own little problem but he had ignored them all and went straight for the jugular, metaphorically speaking. Even now Justice did the mental equivalent of fidgeting because he perceived Anders as being idle and selfish.

Well, he was but it should be his choice and not a compulsion to wage war against injustice in the world. He did his part as much as he could but the spirit wanted nothing short of an outright rebellion that would cause the death of thousands and change the world forever.

Anders had once thought that the world needed changing, and  it did, but sacrificing thousands of innocent bystanders was not the way. Fenris had taught him that and the further he had gotten away from Kirkwall the clearer he could see that his lover was right. Maybe it was a wash in Justice’s book but it wasn’t in his, not any more.

This morning sitting by the river where Fenris had for the first time actually spoken those three little words that every lover longed to hear, watching the sunrise, Anders made a choice.

The world exploded in pain and only one thing kept him from getting lost in the maelstrom.

Fenris.


	2. Chapter 2

His lover was nowhere to be found. Fenris had been puzzled at first, eating a lonely breakfast which was really not the way he had wanted to start this day. His irritation had shifted into outright annoyance when he couldn’t find hide nor hair of Anders. If he had been called away on urgent healer business, he would have woken Fenris or left a note.

Anders had taught him how to write and read, a process that had turned into a serious stress test for their relationship. But they had persevered and Fenris had come out a bit more educated and Anders with a few extra grey hairs.

However the fact remained that the mage was missing, forcing Fenris to go and fetch his gauntlets after all before he strapped on his sword. There would be words after he had found and dragged his lover back to their house. Words and possibly a spanking, it was their anniversary after all.

*~*

Anders stood on a plain in a bleak landscape constructed from an old, broken memory.

Two Blights had devastated the Anderfels, leaving nothing but barely arable land and desolate quarries for people to make a living. Still, it had been the only home he had known until his father, angry and cold, had called the Templars to drag his son to Fereldan where he would be locked up and forgotten.

Even in the Fade, Anders felt bile rise in his throat when the scene played out in front of him.

It wasn’t fair, he had just been a boy.

His mother was crying, begging but his father shoved the woman back into the house and slammed the door behind them. The Templars kept walking, deaf to a mother’s pleas, dragging a scrawny, blonde boy with them to a life in imprisonment.

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t just.

‘Justice?’ Anders asked, knowing that it was not a coincidence that he should relive this particular painful event in his life.

The scenery shifted. He stood in the Great Hall of Kinloch Hold. Great Enchanter Irving was scolding an apprentice in front of everyone for daring to sneak out of the tower to enjoy the rain on his face.  The Knight-Commander wanted to make an example of him but, for good or ill, Irving suggested that the possibly finest spirit healer in generations should not be wasted like that. Ready or not, that night he was forced to go through the Harrowing or accept Tranquillity.

‘HOW MANY WILL HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS IF YOU KEEP RUNNING FROM YOUR DUTY?’ 

Scene after scene of the worst moments of his life replayed until he felt he would shatter and only then did the spirit appear next to him. He looked like he remembered him when they had first met in the Black March: the glowing embodiment of a proud knight.

Defender of the oppressed.

Justice.

‘ANDERS, WE HAVE A MISSION THAT WE CANNOT ABANDON. TOO LONG HAVE YOU BEEN ON THE RUN NOW. AND EACH DAY THAT YOU SIT IDLE, ANOTHER MAGE IS FORCED INTO SLAVERY.’ 

‘I know,’ Anders replied quietly. ‘But I cannot be what you want me to be. The world does not work that way. Had we gone through with our plan, hundreds, no thousands of innocents would have died in the aftermath.’

‘THAT IS THE PRICE FOR JUSTICE. IF WE DO NOTHING, HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS WILL REMAIN IN SLAVERY AND HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS WILL FOLLOW IN THEIR FOOTSTEPS. WHAT ARE A FEW THOUSAND DEATHS COMPARED TO THE FREEDOM OF MILLIONS?’ 

Anders buried his face in his hands. He felt tears welling up. Everything was more intense in the Fade: a sad memory that one might have contemplated with a moment of silence in the real world before moving on cut as much as a blade separating flesh from bone. Justice sensed his uncertainty and pressed on.

‘YOU ARE SELFISH. HOW LONG CAN YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES AND SHARE THE BED OF THE ELF WHO HATES YOUR KIND ABOVE ALL ELSE WHEN THERE IS SO MUCH WORK TO BE DONE?’

*~*

‘No, lad, I haven’t seen him since he came by last week to pick up his delivery. Remember it well, extra-large order.’ The old man coughed and stared at the warrior with milky eyes. Born and raised in Denerim, Elder Garth used to be a raider who had retired to the Rivain countryside to grow grapes and raise a bunch of kids who then proceeded to have kids of their own and so on and so forth. His family made up half the population of this region with him as the pater familias.  He was also the source of Anders’ lyrium potions supply.

He was oddly fond of both Fenris and Anders ever since they took care of that little bandit problem his second born had had a few months ago. And because of something Anders must have done for him which the mage refused to tell Fenris about with the excuse that everything that happened between healer and patient was confidential.

‘Thanks, I’ll keep looking. Should he stop by tell him to come home straight away, we have things to discuss.’ Fenris said and turned to go when he heard the old guy chuckle into his white bristles.

‘Lovers’ quarrels, hey? Na, don’t glare at me like that, my friend. I mean well. I’ll give your Anders the message should I see him.’

‘Uh-hn.’ Fenris replied with a hint of aggravation. Everyone in Elder Garth family took way too much interest in their private life for his liking. It was almost as if they considered them part of their weird, little clan and hence had a right to meddle and gossip. Anders loved it as much as Fenris loathed it.

‘Have a nice shag! It’s what anniversaries are for!’

Fenris almost tripped over his own feet but before he could even turn around to tell Garth to mind his own fucking business the door banged shut though he could still hear the faint sound of an old man cackling.

‘The nerve of these people…’ Fenris muttered as he clenched and unclenched his fists as he slowly stalked away. It didn’t help that every single household he had called on to enquire about his missing lover had wished him a happy anniversary accompanied by much winking and rude hand gestures.

Still cursing under his breath about meddling fools and errant apostates, Fenris’ feet carried him to the bridge spanning the Besos, the region’s main water supply. The river was deep and quick here unlike further up the mountain where it pooled in little lakes before it tumbled down a mighty fall the locals called the Lagrimas.

Fenris stopped in the middle of the bridge and peeked over the edge of the railing. He smiled when he remembered the first time he and Anders had climbed up to the highest lake on a late Summer evening. They had brought wine and bread and had made love on the riverbank. It was on that day that he had told Anders that he loved him. And, Maker forgive him, he still did and secretly hoped he always would. Something he would very much like to prove to his lover right now if he could only figure out where he had gone off to. This didn’t feel right!

‘You look happy today, Fenris,’ a soft voice said from behind. Fenris refused to flinch despite the fact that the woman had surprised him.

‘Jacinta.’ Fenris greeted her curtly, looking at her over his shoulder. She just smiled in response like she always did at first as if she didn’t notice that the warrior always treated her a bit short.

‘You know I can tell because you’re only frowning as opposed to your usual full-blown milk-curdling scowl. Oh, and there it is! Change of topic, where is Anders? I thought it was a special day for you two? He hasn’t grown tired of you yet, has he?’ Jacinta asked with an evil twinkle in her eye. The golden bracelets around her wrists jingled as she idly combed her fingers through her thick curly black hair.

‘That’s none of your business, witch!’ Fenris snapped back.

He had little patients with the seer on a good day and loathed how much time Anders spent in her company when he was going around the valley, checking on his various patients. Somehow she always ended up tagging along, jingling, swaying her broad hips and presenting her ample bosoms.

Anders found her charming and useful because she knew all about the local people and regional herbs. Fenris thought her dangerous. Jacinta allowed spirits to possess her when she was making a prophecy and although it was all smoke and mirrors on most days, ever so often it would be the genuine thing, and Fenris just waited for the day he would be called to chop her abominated head off.

She just raised an eye-brow and pretended to fuss with her scarf when she said, ‘So defensive. Oh well, I must be off. Isadora is due soon and she wants to know whether it will be a boy or a girl. You know how expecting mothers are?’ She gave Fenris a sly look, ‘Or maybe you don’t actually.’

But before Fenris could get even a word out, she turned on her sandaled heel and waved at him, calling, ‘Give Anders my best and tell him I hope everything went well with the exorcism although I still think he should have let me supervise.’

‘What exorcism?’ Fenris asked before he could stop himself.

Jacinta turned around and smiled. ‘Oh. He didn’t tell you then. Figures what with your uhn…attitude toward the spirit world.’

‘My attitude is well founded in experience, witch. I’m sure you’ll find out why soon enough.’ Fenris replied with a deep scowl.

She huffed and finally dropped all pretence at friendliness when she advanced. ‘You know I often find myself wondering what Anders sees in you, I’ll never understand.’

‘No, you wouldn’t and you won’t.’ Fenris replied with a tiny smirk.

Jacinta took a step back and straightened her back which given her tiny stature didn’t amount to much, her breasts bounced and heaved under her heavy breathing which gave away just how annoyed she really was.

Her voice however returned to its friendly chattering tone when she said, ‘And I had figured that you were the one Anders was trying to get rid of when he asked me for the Valor runes. You only use them for the most persistent   _guests_.’

Fenris said nothing in response but something about that bit of information did not sit right with him. Thankfully, Jacinta took his silence as defeat and walked away without another word.

Last night…

_Fenris held Anders’ wrists over his head in the span of one hand while he used his other to gently stroke his lover’s chest and trail kisses down his throat._

_‘Mmmh. I’m still not telling.’_

_‘No? What if I do this?’ Fenris caught Anders’ earlobe between his teeth, sucking and nibbling. The healer moaned and arched under the attention._

_‘Fenris… All right. Just one hint…yes there, Maker don’t stop…it’s something you want more than anything.’_

_‘I’ve all I desire right here,’ Fenris quipped shifting on top of the mage’s body before he kissed him ardently._

Extra-large delivery. Valor runes.  Persistent guest. __

‘Oh Maker no, Anders, you fool!’

Fenris ran.


	3. Chapter 3

Drawing for this chapter by roryseviltwin, commissioned by cypheroftyr

 

Anders lifted his head, face streaked with tears but his eyes hardened.

‘You are right. Fenris hates what magic can do to people. How it can change them from good men and women into vile torturers and murderers who would sacrifice their own children to gain an edge. And you know what, he is right to hate this side of my powers. One weak moment, one misstep and I wouldn’t hesitate to kill thousands just to get it my way. That’s why I need him by my side. He is not just my lover, he is also the one who protects me from myself, and I’m grateful.’

Justice shook his head like a disappointed father.

‘ALL THAT RUNNING AND FOR WHAT? WASN’T RUNNING FROM ROLAN WHAT BROUGHT US TOGETHER? I COULD BE ROMANTIC ABOUT IT AND SAY IT WAS BECAUSE YOU SAW I WAS RIGHT SO YOU ACCEPTED MY AID BUT I KNOW THAT WOULD BE A LIE.’

‘YOU TOOK ME INTO YOURSELF TO UNLEASH VENGEANCE ONTO THE WARDENS WHO HAD ALLOWED A TEMPLAR INTO THEIR MIDST JUST SO THEY COULD KEEP YOU UNDER CONTROL. YOU WANTED TO PUNISH ROLAN FOR PUSHING YOU TO YOUR LIMITS. AND PUNISH HIM WE DID. YOU GOT YOUR VENGEANCE BUT I GOT NOTHING. YOU BROKE OUR PACT AND INSTEAD FOUND A NEW WATCHER TO KEEP YOU LIKE A PET, YOU JUST SAID IT YOURSELF.’

Anders stared at the embodiment of Justice in dismay. This was indeed no longer the spirit who he had met all those years ago. Justice wasn’t selfish. Justice would never want anything for himself, at least not like that. No, this was something else and he hoped fervently that enough of his old friend remained now that they were two entities again in the Fade and that he could be reasoned with.

He hated how his voice was shaking when he replied. ‘What we did together… that day. I wish I could undo it, all of it. But what’s done is done and I can only hope I’m not too late now.’

‘YOU ARE RIGHT, WE ARE TOO LATE TO CHANGE THE PAST. BUT WE CAN CHANGE THE FUTURE. PICK UP YOUR END OF THE BARGAIN AND LET US GO TO DAIRSMUID. LEAVE YOUR OLD LIFE BEHIND AND BECOME THE LEADER OF THE REBELLION THAT YOU WERE DESTINED TO BE.’

Anders took a careful step toward the entity that used to be Justice. ‘No, I’m not that man, I never was. I’m an apostate who perverted a good spirit with his anger and hatred into a force of vengeance. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry, my friend. I’ve done you ill service but as you can see I found a way back into the Fade for both of us. All we need to do is let go and you’ll be home. Isn’t that what you wanted?’

Justice seemed to pause and take in his surrounding as if he hadn’t noticed them before and for a few breaths, Anders dared to hope. 

‘You see? Do you remember the story of Connor Guerrin, only son of the Arl of Redcliff? Alim told us about him back at Vigil’s Keep. He had given himself to a desire demon because he thought this was a way to rescue his father. But because he had volunteered it was possible to reverse the possession without having to kill him.’

‘I ALSO REMEMBER THAT IT TOOK EITHER BLOOD MAGIC OR HALF A DOZEN MAGES AND THEIR WEIGHT IN LYRIUM TO GET INTO THE FADE WHERE THE DEMON HAD TO BE SLAIN FOR THE POSSESSION TO END.’ Justice replied still seemingly more interested in taking in his environment before he suddenly advanced on Anders, forcing the mage to take a few hurried steps back until he hit a wall that hadn’t been there before. ‘THERE ARE NO OTHER MAGES IN THIS REGION. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, ANDERS?’

*~*

‘Think,’ Fenris said to himself under his breath. ‘Think, where would he go to do this?’

Not populated. A lonely place where it would be unlikely to be stumbled upon. A place of significance.

Fenris gaze travelled up the mountain even as he ran. The muscles in his chest and legs were burning already but he had no time to lose. Anders was fighting for his life.

‘Damn you! Damn you!’ Fenris cursed between clenched teeth and forced his body to go faster.

The sun had passed the zenith by the time Fenris burst through the thicket and into the clearing around the lake.

‘Anders!’

His lover’s prone form lay in a circle of glowing runes with no sign of life in him. There was blood, a lot of blood.

‘Mage, what have you done?’ Fenris cried prowling at the edge of the circle not daring to cross over the threshold until he was certain it wouldn’t do more damage than good.

‘Wake up! WAKE UP!’ Fenris screamed but Anders remained lifeless. ‘Wake up so I can kill you myself, you fool!’

There was no way around it and he was clearly running out of time. Fenris stepped between the runes.

Nothing happened. The enchanted stones continued to glow and pulse similar to the beating of a heart and Fenris noted an answering call from the lyrium in his skin but he had more important things to focus on.

He crouched next to Anders, fearing the worst. When he noticed the first shallow breath, Fenris almost sobbed in relief.

‘Good. You’re alive. I’d never forgive you if you were dead and I’d have to pass beyond the veil just to kick your sorry arse for the rest of eternity for running away from me like that. What kind of a gift is that?’

There was no witty retort or snappy comeback form his lover. He just continued to lie on the wet grass and looked as good as dead. Fenris didn’t think he could have hated magic even more than he already did but it always seemed to find new ways to torture him.

Blood oozed slowly out of Anders’ eyes, nose, mouth and ears but there was no obvious wound. It had looked worse than it was. Poisoning maybe? A large, rune encrusted basin lay on the edge of the circle. Fenris sniffed it and then dipped a finger along the metal and tasted the liquid before he spat on the ground. Lyrium. Had Anders ingested all of it? That would be insane.

Fenris shook his head and checked Anders as best he could for other injuries but it seemed he was whole except for the blood slowly running out of him, even his fingernails seem to bleed. He was already pale as the snow they had seen in the Anderfels. Moving him would be a risk since Fenris had no idea what the runes meant or what the mage had done but the fact remained that Anders needed healing.

There was only one solution, Fenris had to get him out of the circle and back home. Fervently hoping that it wouldn’t kill his lover, the warrior picked Anders’ wrists and was about to pull when his markings flared so brightly he had to close his eyes.

Power coursed through him, tearing, ripping, clawing at his skin. It was agony akin to the one that had forced the lyrium into his flesh. He screamed in blind terror and then it stopped as suddenly as it had started and Fenris found himself in place he had hoped to never see again.

‘Ah, Fenris, so good of you to join us.’

Fenris froze. He knew that voice. A voice he had silenced for good over three years ago.

‘Hadriana, bring the collar, please. My pet has been a naughty, little wolf.’ 


	4. Chapter 4

‘WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? WHOSE LIFE PAID THE PRICE FOR YOUR SELFISH INDULGENCE?’ Justice demanded to know again.

‘I thought we were one in the world, don’t you know? You didn’t try to stop me either. That’s why I thought you wanted this, too.’ Anders explained hastily, fervently hoping that he hadn’t misunderstood. If Justice wasn’t going to go along with this plan, they would be in deep trouble.

‘I thought that you understood that I’m not the man you seek. I told you I’m not the leader of the mage rebellion. I’m a man who happens to be a mage who likes to make his own choices. I’m a man who wants to live peacefully with the person he loves. And surely you know that I love Fenris? I love him more than my life and I’ll never give him up, not even for Justice.’

The spirit stepped back, slowly and deliberately.

‘I AM NOT PRIVY TO ALL YOUR THOUGHTS. I FEEL WHEN YOU ARE THREATENED AND LEASH OUT. I FEEL YOUR ANGER AND YOUR HATRED AT THE INJUSTICE DONE TO MAGES JUST AS CLEARLY AS I DID ON THE DAY WHEN WE BECAME ONE. I DO NOT FEEL THIS LOVE YOU SPEAK OF. AND IT DOES NOT MATTER TO ME. I ASK YOU AGAIN, MY FRIEND, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?’

Justice said the word ‘friend’ like Fenris said ‘magister’. Cold sweat broke out of Anders’ every pore. It should not be possible and he knew, _he knew_ , that everything here was an abstract representation of the real world but his mind didn’t seem to care and the dread and fear he felt manifested in very corporeal ways.

He hated how is voice trembled when he explained, ‘No-one paid a price because there was no price to pay other than the very literal one as in sovereigns, lots of sovereigns, for the lyrium and the Valor runes. I also had to travel to Llomerryn to find the Dalish in order to obtain the scroll that teaches you the ritual, and believe me that was no small feat, but that is the past and now we are here.’

Anders indicated the landscape that had changed yet again. They stood on the fringes of something that looked like a forest but where it should be lush and green only twisted shapes of grey and black swayed slightly in a breeze that wasn’t there, and the rustling of the leaves was replaced by total silence.

All of this was not going according to his plan. It should have been simple. Jacinta had explained to him that seers who became possessed sometimes had trouble persuading the spirit to leave but as long as the spirit was benign, it was usually just a matter of reasoning with the being and if both were willing, they parted ways and no-one got hurt.

Seers didn’t enter the Fade of course, they conversed with the spirit in the real world but Anders and Justice were different because unlike the seers’ guests, Justice was not in the Fade and could not find his way without Anders’ help. He had to poison himself with lyrium in order to draw on the power necessary to tear the veil just enough to let their mind enter consciously and split.

He remembered the pain and the feeling as if he was going to die. Clinging to memories of his lover had been his only anchor in a sea of agony and then it was over and he stood in the Fade like he had on the night of his Harrowing.

It was almost done, the only thing left to do was for Justice to agree and they would separate forever. What Justice didn’t seem to know was that if he refused and insisted on returning to the real world, they were both going to die.

They would be trapped in the circle of runes until Anders’ body succumbed to thirst and starvation because once set only a person free of possession was able to cross the threshold. It was possible for someone to find them of course but at this stage Anders would prefer death to continuing living as an abomination. He owed it to himself, and he owed it to Fenris.

The thought that his lover might never find him and would never know where Anders had gone and why he hadn’t returned brought tears to the mage’s eyes. For the last time he pleaded, ‘Justice, you are home and we can part as friends or former companions whichever you like, just please, _please_ , let me go, both our futures are riding on your answer.’

*~*

It was impossible and yet here he stood in the antechamber of Danarius’ winter palace in Minrathous. It was perfectly detailed down to the murals depicting the downfall of Arlathan.

‘No.’ Fenris heard himself say. It was barely a whisper as he turned and looked into the face of the man who he had once called master, and immediately he lowered his eyes out of habit trained, beaten, forced into him. He stared at the floor and despaired.

‘Come now, Fenris. It was only a matter of time before you’d return to me. You always knew this was your place in the world. Where you belonged.’ Danarius said as if he was talking to an obstinate child.

Terror gripped Fenris like a vice around his chest and throat, squeezing tight enough to suffocate. He stared in disbelief at the magister’s floor who had haunted him every hour of his life until…

…until the man’s blood had run hot down Fenris’ hands and arms. That day all those years ago at the Hanged Man. This man was dead.

Hadriana, he had phased into her body and ripped her heart, a shrivelled thing, into pieces. They were dead and he lived.

Slowly, Fenris raised his head and looked into Danarius’ eyes.

‘No.’ The warrior whispered again. They were dead and he lived. He was free. A free elf walking by his lover’s side.

His lover.

Anders.

As if the mage’s name was a spell, Fenris felt as if he had just woken up from a nightmare. The fear abated and with its retreat came the familiar calm that overtook him on the battlefield. He greeted it in his heart like an old friend.

‘I won’t wait all day, little wolf.’ Danarius voice was patronising and haughty as ever but it had no power over him. Not anymore.

He had to find Anders. Fenris took another look around the room and understood.

 ‘No!’ He repeated louder, his hand wrapping around the hilt of his Blade of Mercy. ‘I killed you, you and that bitch,’ he indicated Hadriana who was standing under an arch, the hated collar in hand.

‘Then this is your chance to redeem yourself. Return to my side. Don’t you miss the certainty of knowing that you have a purpose and one purpose alone? Come back willingly and you won’t be punished. I might even let you keep your memories this time if you wish it.’ Danarius brought his hands together in front of his chest, readying a spell no doubt.

Fenris barked with laughter. ‘Has death made you generous, Danarius? No, you’re not him. You’re nothing but a memory!’ Fenris yelled and brought the blade down in a shattering blow.

Danarius evaded and stepped next to Hadriana who had dropped the collar and was conjuring shades.

‘The word is ‘master’.’ The magister snarled, a black dagger in hand, opening his wrists to cannibalise his own life-force to augment his powers.

It would not help him. ‘I’m done with you.’ Fenris concluded and scythed through flesh and bone, falling both enemies before either of them could finish their spells.

Fenris sheathed his blade without looking back and the world around him shattered.

‘Tsk. I’m done with you.’ The warrior repeated with a tone of finality in his voice.

Stepping forward into the bleak and unfocused landscape around him, Fenris was uncertain whether he would kill or kiss his lover once he’d found him for giving him a second chance at killing his former master. He almost regretted that it had taken no time at all.  

However, remembering the last time he had been dragged into the Fade, Fenris’ mood soured. ‘Maybe not kill but there will definitely be a spanking,’ Fenris thought as he started to walk with grim determination toward something that looked like someone had tried to paint a forest from hearsay.


	5. Chapter 5

‘WE MADE A PACT TO BRING FREEDOM TO ALL MAGES IN EXCHANGE FOR MY STRENGTH AND MY COUNCIL. YOU CANNOT RUN FROM JUSTICE, ANDERS! IT WILL ONLY BRING YOU GREATER PAIN IN THE END. FULFIL YOUR END OF THE BARGAIN AND I SHALL TAKE MY LEAVE WILLINGLY. TOO LONG HAVE I BEEN AWAY FROM MY HOME BUT THERE IS WORK TO BE DONE IN THE WORLD AND JUSTICE CANNOT BE SELFISH.’

Something in Justice’s voice almost made Anders believe that this was still his friend. The selfless spirit only intend to right the wrongs of this world and the next. For the first time since he had started to plan their separation, Anders felt doubt whether this was really the right thing to do. But before Justice could exploit his hesitation, salvation came in the most unexpected form.

‘That’s a lie, demon, and you know it. Don’t listen to him!’ Fenris’ voice appeared out of nowhere and as if it was a token to ward off spirits, the image of Justice melted into the parting mist only to reveal the familiar figure of Anders’ lover.

‘Fenris! How did you get here?’

‘I woke up cold and alone, endured a lot of innuendo and got insulted by a witch before I stumbled upon my lover’s body on the shores of a mountain lake, surrounded by runes and bleeding to his death. Does that scenario sound familiar to you?’ Fenris asked sourly.

 Anders was nearly overwhelmed by the impulse to pull his lover into his arms and never let him go again. It seemed as if he hadn’t seen Fenris for a small eternity but training and experience rooted him to the spot.  Everything in him wanted to believe that this was the real Fenris but if you made the wrong call in the Fade, it would be your last one.

Still, his heart beat faster in response to his lover’s oh so familiar voice and he answered softly, ‘I missed you, too.’

Fenris just grunted in response, his mouth set in a grim line before he replied. ‘Let’s get out of here.’

‘I can’t.’

Fenris raised an eye-brow in response, his gauntlet twitching. ‘Why not?’

‘How do I know you’re you?’ Anders asked.

‘What?’

‘See this is why you should take a greater interest in what I do, ‘Anders admonished but continued quickly when Fenris hand wrapped itself around the hilt of his sword. ‘Some demons stalk their prey’s dreams for years until they find an opening. It pains me to say this but you could be one of them trying to pretend to be Fenris.’

‘I _am_ Fenris.’

‘Prove it.’

‘How? You said it yourself I could be a demon drawing on your own memories of me!’ Fenris snarled, he understood caution but they were wasting time with childish antics.

‘Tell me something I don’t know about you but that is part of our life.’ Anders suggested.

Fenris gave his lover a look that quickly shifted from exasperation to pensive. After a moment’s pause he finally said, ‘I hate your minced pies.’

Anders mouth fell open. ‘You…’ He started but instead of launching into one of their verbal sparring matches, he just allowed himself a small moment of happiness. 'I believe you.' With a deep breath, he briefly closed his eyes to compose himself. When he opened them again, Fenris smiled.

Holding his lover’s gaze, Anders spoke with steel in his voice. ‘This is our farewell, Justice.’

The response was silence and Anders took it as his former friend’s resignation and consent. Relieved, he stepped toward his lover and took his hand, carefully raising the talons to his lips.

‘Let’s go home,’ Fenris said, gently drawing the tip of his gauntlet over Anders’ cheek without breaking skin, enjoying how the other man shivered in response.

‘ANDERS, DO YOU TRULY THINK YOU CAN BREAK A PACT WITH JUSTICE AND NOT FACE HIS JUDGEMENT? THIS IS FAREWELL? I DON’T THINK SO!’ Justice’s disembodied voice boomed.

The world around them morphed. The twisted shapes of the forest engulfed them, swallowed them whole before either mage or elf could react.

‘Seize your antics! The Fade will not claim us today.’ Fenris said calmly into the darkness as he remembered how demons impersonating his former tormentors had tried to subdue him without success.  ‘We are taking our leave now, and there is nothing you can do about that.’

‘VERY WELL. THINK WHAT YOU WILL. IT IS AFTER ALL USELESS TO REASON WITH A BEAST. BUT KNOW THIS, ELF, ANDERS IS MINE. HE GAVE HIMSELF TO ME FREELY AND YOU HAVE BEEN A DANGEROUS DISTRACTION FROM OUR MISSION FAR TOO LONG. 


	6. Chapter 6

‘We’re done here.’ Fenris declared unperturbed by the thinly veiled threat in Justice’s voice.

‘YOU THINK YOU KNOW WHO HE IS?’ The spirit asked with vitriolic glee. But before Fenris could answer, the shadow of a man ran past him.

‘No! Justice, I beg you. Don’t do this!’ Anders cried suddenly.

Fenris wasn’t sure what was happening but his lover’s gaze seemed to fixate on the apparition. It looked like a man in robes but it was hard to tell from this angle.

‘Anders,’ Fenris said but his lover didn’t even seem to hear him.

‘BEHOLD YOUR LOVER!’

‘No! Please, don’t show him that. Don’t…’ Anders’ pleas died in a whimper as his legs gave and he sank to the floor. He didn’t even seem to feel when Fenris’ arms came around him to slow his descend until they sat side by side on the grass that wasn’t grass but a memory of a forest floor.

‘I’m here, you foolish mage. I don’t know what you were thinking trying to do this alone but I told you, I told you every night and, Maker will it, I will tell you every night hereafter: you’re stuck with me!’ Fenris whispered into Ander’s hair. But his lover didn’t seem to hear him, his posture remained rigid despite the fact that he was leaning against Fenris’ chest.

‘Anders, you need to focus! We need to defeat the demon if we want to go home.’ Fenris tried again, his hands tightening around the mage’s biceps but his lover’s eyes kept staring at the scene unfolding a few paces away from them.

‘You told me not to believe anything you see in the Fade. This thing is trying to trip us up. They…’ Fenris voice tailed off. He had kept shifting his gaze back and forth between Anders and the scene, not really caring what it was they were actually seeing until a rotting corpse dressed in Grey Warden armour stepped out from between the conifers, approaching another Anders: younger, his hair even longer than it was now in the real world, mouth twisted in a silent scream of rage as his forehead rested against the bark of an old oak.

Fenris expected a fight but he could see that the younger Anders merely shifted his head to greet the newcomer with a tiny nod of his head. The memory was detailed and vivid down to the fly escaping from a gaping hole in the corpse’s cheek except for the sound, or the absence of it. The memory continued in perfect silence and after what looked like a brief exchange Anders’ younger self straightened up and with another nod of his head the corpse in front of him crumbled to the floor.

Nothing else seemed to change but Fenris could feel the Anders in is arms starting to shake. The tiny movement jolted him enough to attempt to rouse his lover again but the scene shifted and almost like a spell, Fenris could not help but continue to watch.

Apparently they were still in the forest, only this time Anders’ younger self stood in a clearing where someone had set up camp, a Warden crest on each canvas. Fenris watched as the memory of his lover opened his mouth in a scream when a cruel-eyed man in Grey Warden armour approached him, hand on the hilt of his sword in a gesture all too familiar to Fenris. Though unlike the Grey Warden, it didn’t surprise Fenris when blue light began to stream through fissures in his lover’s skin as the spirit took control. As he had expected the younger Anders’ opponent was about to draw his sword when the abomination collapsed and lay still.

Suddenly Fenris understood what he had seen before. It couldn’t have been anything else: the rotting corpse had been Justice’s former host and he had just witnessed their joining. Anders had never spoken of this part of his past and Fenris had not pried.

Meanwhile another man approached the scene. A Templar by the looks of it. Fenris had a bad feeling about what was about to happen. The Grey Warden exchanged a few words with the newcomer and then crouched in front of the younger Anders who had just opened his eyes again.

Anders, his Anders, the man in his arms moaned as if in pain.

‘Anders, we need to go,’ Fenris tried again when a bright explosion of flames dragged his attention back to the memory.

Fenris jaw slacked. The sword that he knew would get drawn was now protruding from his lover’s chest with no effect whatsoever as Anders’ body, glowing with the spirit’s force, leashed out and tore the head off his former Warden companion. More Templars and Wardens appeared and they all fell, one by one, scorched, torn, and to Fenris’ horror, eaten. The spirit was not simply fighting, he was feasting.

‘THAT IS WHAT WE TRULY ARE. THAT IS WHAT YOU’VE TAKEN TO YOUR BED, ELF.’

Fenris closed his eyes but the scene kept playing in his mind. A less seasoned warrior would have thrown up but he had seen unspeakable things in the Imperium, vile things, things that a normal being would consider impossible to even contemplate, yet Fenris knew that some people had a void where their soul should be. The man in his arms however definitely had not one but two souls and that made all the difference.

One of them was good and kind, a fool and a pain in the arse but the other one, the other one was a burning sword with a single purpose. There was no longer any doubt that Justice had been gone long before Fenris had ever met the mage. What stood before them and what had shared his lover’s body this whole time was as he had always feared a demon of vengeance.

‘I knew all along who I was sharing my bed with and it wasn’t you if that is what you’re insinuating. ‘ Fenris let go of his lover to straighten up and face the knight in shining armour. He looked exactly how Anders had described him. Somehow Fenris had thought the image would change now that all pretence had been cast away but the demon remained true to the form he had taken when he had still been a spirit. He looked righteous, bold and strong.

‘AH, BUT THIS IS WHERE YOU ARE WRONG, ELF. YOU THINK IT IS CLEAR CUT: TWO BEINGS IN ONE BODY. TRUE WE ARE NOT PRIVVY TO EVERY DETAIL OF THE OTHER; I FOR ONE DO NOT LOVE YOU. BUT BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY THE MAN YOU THINK YOU LOVE IS NOT THE MAN THAT STOOD IN THAT CLEARING AND MADE A PACT WITH JUSTICE ALL THOSE YEARS AGO.’

Fenris surprised himself when a mirthless chuckle escaped him. ‘You think I don’t know? Our experience is what makes us who we are. That’s why the fool that merged with you cannot be the man here now but he is that man, only older and ...’

‘Loved,’ Anders finished the sentence for him. ‘I’m loved.’

Fenris gasped in surprise when his lover straightened up next to him. ‘ _Took you long enough, are you alright, we have to talk when this is over’_ – and many other things flitted through his mind but now was not the time to say them, so instead he condensed them all into a single word.

‘Anders.’

‘Yes.’ Anders replied with a forced smile as if he had heard the subtext anyway. But more importantly his eyes seem to burn with determination when he spoke again.

‘You cannot go back to the mortal world, Justice. If you possess my body again we’ll both perish. I wish we could have done this amicably but it seems that you won’t let me be peacefully. I’ll fight you if I must but believe me either way you cannot win.’

‘And you’re not alone.’ Fenris chimed in, drawing his sword in the process.

The three of them stood in silence like the remaining pieces on a chessboard until at long last Vengeance spoke.

‘THEN GO. GO BACK TO YOUR WORLD AND LIVE YOUR SMALL LIVES.’

Fenris twitched, ready to charge, when Anders dissolved next to him into thin air.

‘OH, DON’T FRET. HE IS JUST GOING AHEAD. KNOW THIS ELF, YOU HAVE DEFEATED JUSTICE AND YOUR WORLD WILL BE POORER FOR IT. BUT VENGEANCE IS MINE.’

And just like that Fenris woke up staring into a clear blue sky.


	7. Chapter 7

**Epilogue**

Fenris woke up alone awkwardly slouched in the chair next to their bed.  This was developing into a bad habit.

Ignoring his sore muscles, Fenris hurried outside to look for his lover. He had been worried sick ever since he couldn’t rouse Anders after they had returned from the Fade. There had been that tense moment when Fenris had to cross the threshold of runes not knowing whether this would kill his lover or not. But he had reasoned with himself that only Anders would survive and if he wasn’t in that body then he was dead anyway.

‘I love you,’ Fenris had said quietly before he had stepped outside the ring. When Anders had continued to breathe against his neck, Fenris had allowed himself a shuddering sob, holding onto his lover a bit tighter before he had made his way back down the mountain.

It had been a long walk back to their house. Fenris barely managed to get his lover’s boots off before he himself had collapsed into the chair and succumbed to sleep.

*~*

He found Anders washing himself in the brook close to their house.

‘After all the effort it took me to get you back here, you could have at least woken me up this time.’ Fenris growled to hide his relief.

‘I’m sorry. I woke up because something stank which turned out to be me so I thought I better go wash up. Err…’ Anders looked at him sheepishly which made Fenris mouth twitch in an effort not to smile.

‘How… Maker, this is awkward. Alright, this might sound a bit crazy but how did I get here?’ Anders asked.

Fenris frowned at his lover. ‘Has the blood loss made you deaf as well as dumb? I just said that I had to carry your scrawny arse back because you were out as a light.’

‘Riiight. Next question then.’

Fenris felt his eye-brow twitch.

‘Where is _here_? Oh, by the way, I’m Anders, who are you?’

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story will continue in 'Heart of the Tiger'.


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